Country Fried Birthday

Today would be Mike’s 41st birthday, and at some point I will make a donation in his name. I haven’t decided where yet, but probably the local humane society. I’ve had to rethink how to create a legacy for him since we never had children, and in a few months I won’t even have his last name anymore, which is strange and amazing. I'm always astounded by how the joy of new beginnings and the pain of loss can occupy the same space.

A lot of big things are coming over the next few months, and I am so excited, but today I’m remembering Mike and one of my favorite birthday memories.

One year for Mike’s birthday, I made him a special dinner. I never did a lot of cooking by myself. We would cooks things together, or more like Mike would cook things and I would hand him stuff. This hasn’t changed much as I pretty much do the same with Cory. The point is cooking a meal is something I did rarely.

I decided to make country fried steak and mashed potatoes and gravy using The Pioneer Woman's recipe. Check it our here. I gathered up all the ingredients and fried it in the cast iron skillet, which I hadn’t really had much experience using. I made the gravy from the stuck-on bits of breading in the skillet. I probably smoked out the kitchen cooking this meal. AND for some ridiculous reason, I cooked up all 10 pieces of cube steak that came in the package. It was WAY too much food for us.

The food turned out really good, and Mike enjoyed it. I wish I had a picture of it. I think it’s one of the best meals I ever cooked for him. He teased me about cooking the whole package of cube steak saying “I like country fried steak, but I don’t need that much of it at once.” We had leftovers, but they weren’t as good in the days that followed. I don’t think I’ve made it since then. I had always wanted to make it for him again, and I wish I had.

We filled our short time together with so many great memories, and I’m so grateful for them. Some days though, it just doesn’t feel like we had enough, and I wish for more time.

Happy birthday, Mike! I miss you, and I love you still.