In the Universe

I’m taking a break from the Remind Me series to wish Mike a happy heavenly birthday. Today Mike would be 45 years old. Whenever I donate to any charity or to the giving campaign at work, I give an amount equal to his age in his memory. It’s my way of keeping his name in the universe.

This year I made a donation to the American Diabetes Association because the largest underlying factor of Mike’s death is the years of untreated diabetes he endured when he didn’t have health insurance. Not to get too political, but it’s hard not to think about how much the American healthcare system has failed him as well as countless others. A donation to the American Diabetes Association helps to fund research for a cure for diabetes as well as better treatment for the disease.

I still think about him every day, and on his birthday and our wedding anniversary, I’ll wear my wedding band from our marriage to honor him. He’ll always be a part of my story, and I love remembering those chapters of my life. Given the subject of my last post, I’ll share this memory of when I met Mike. We met online through a personal ad or maybe a dating app, something like that. Anyway, we chatted for a while, sent good morning texts, started getting to know each other. At this time, I was really sensitive about my appearance because I would have really good conversations with a guy for a while. It’d feel like we could be a good match, so we’d exchange a picture, and he’d ghost me.

When the time came for me and Mike to share a picture with each other, I was nervous given my track record. I don’t remember what he said after getting the pic, but it must have been positive because we continued to talk throughout the week, and then decided to meet at Barnes and Noble on Friday night. I spotted him looking at some Star Trek DVD or something, and when we met one of the first things he said was “Your pictures did not do you justice. You are so beautiful.” The way he said it is what sticks out most in my mind. He was so earnest about it. I’m sure I laughed it off because that’s my go-to move. At the end of the night, he asked if I was available the next day because he was sure he wanted to see me again.

If you’re reading this and you know Mike, leave me a memory you have of him. If you don’t know Mike, but you know me, then just whisper his name for me. Help me keep his name in the universe as a favor to me. If you don’t know either us, then remember someone you lost, and say their name out loud. Make a donation in their memory to a cause that is important to you or was important to them. If they touched your life in some way, they should be remembered.

Kimberly