Lost Time
Sun dial at the UGA State Botanical Gardens in Athens, GA. The words on the dial read: "Make time save time while time lasts. All time is no time when time is past."
“Lost Time”
October 27, 2004
My future husband
Better watch out
Because I’ve lived
Twenty years of my life
Without kissing.
We will have
A lot of
Lost time
To make up.
I wrote this poem long before I met Mike and a little more than a year before my first kiss. So, I lived 21 and half years without kissing. I never really understood why “waiting for marriage” was so difficult until after my first kiss. Then, it made perfect sense.
Lost time has a different meaning for me now. When you’re widowed young, you don’t have a lifetime of memories. It’s like the worst of both worlds – I had too little time with Mike and too much time ahead of me. I not only mourn his death, but all of the things we never got to do. There were so many things that we had to put on hold because of money or Mike’s health or my work. I always thought there would be more time, but that’s the thing about time – there’s no making it up.
As much as I would love to say that I’m now a master of using my time wisely, I’m not. But I try to be more selective about how I spend time. As much as possible, I try to spend time on things I love. I’m done wasting time trying to make everyone else happy, so I spend time on things that make me happiest. I’ve been learning to worry less about what others think, live more authentically, take chances, and just be who I am. I don't have time to do much else.
Kimberly
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